This is Chapter Zero: the beginning before the beginning. Zero is the unknown, and it represents the fearless. Zero is zen. Today, right now, this moment is yours because every moment matters. May this be your Chapter Zero too; may it be a new beginning, a new day, a new era. My intention for this book is symbolized by the wholeness, fullness, and roundness of zero. Zero is a symbol of completion. It is the origin, it represents the place you come from. It represents now-ness. The moment you are in is where you will find your bliss. So often, people look for fulfillment outside of the moment. If you do, you are fooling yourself. This is the only moment that matters. I too, used to look for a high from the next moment. Living in the moment was never enough for me. I was always searching for my next snack, my next lover, or my next adventure. However, when I discovered my life purpose of Sexy Brilliant, it became everything I have been searching for.
What Is Sexy Brilliant?
First of all, I want to be honest and upfront with you, Sexy Brilliant happened accidentally. I created the Sexy Brilliant™ Global Revolution while overcoming my addiction. I will share more details on this later on in the book.
Secondly, Sexy Brilliant™ is the ideal at the core of Too Fat Too Loud Too Ambitious. To me, Sexy Brilliance and success are synonymous. Sexy Brilliance is a way of being that is available to anyone. It is a lifestyle. It is a mindset that you can choose at any moment. It encompasses the physical, emotional, spiritual, and intellectual domains.
Although Sexy Brilliance can unlock unbelievable success and wealth, it is so much more than riches, blessings, and money. Sexy Brilliant people are daring, confident, outspoken, and loving. They experience and demonstrate acceptance of their added confidence, body image, and individual worth, no matter their age. Sexy Brilliance is a sense of grace, elegance, and authenticity that empowers people to recognize their own strength, beauty, gifts, and inner light.
Sexy Brilliant people are genuine, they live unapologetically, and they do not have to follow because they lead with their own instincts. They do what they know is right for them. For example, I sit on the floor to eat when I can. It keeps me grounded. Sitting and eating on the ground is an ancient custom, and was practiced by many of our ancestors, and even today it helps us stay connected to the natural energy of the Earth.
One of the biggest criticisms that I hear about Sexy Brilliant is that it is egotistical, even though it is actually a not-for-profit movement and a foundation. In the act of celebrating myself, I am labelled as self-centred or self-absorbed. Some people say I lack humility. Nothing could be further from the truth. Sexy Brilliant™ as a philosophy brings balance between myself and my stress and puts me at the centre of my life. I have come to realize that there is nothing wrong with that. You are allowed to be the star of your own movie!
It is not egotistical to love yourself. There is a pervasive belief that the ego is the ‘bad guy’ of the psyche. The ego keeps you alive. It allows you to assert your needs for food, sleep, safety, security, sex, and money. The ego provides the instinct for self-preservation that is required to survive.Instead of vilifying it, make friends with your ego through self-acceptance, self-work, and self-love. Doing this inner work might require you to challenge your cultural heritage. You may have to face your fears around the concept of change as you connect to inner divinity. The hardest thing in the beginning, is learning to listen to your spiritual, inner voice. Yet, who are you living for? Whose life is this, anyway? Yours.
How Do I Use This Book?
To begin your own transformation, plan to set aside at least one hour a day, for thirty consecutive days. This is the time you will need to practice the strategies I offer in Too Fat Too Loud Too Ambitious. You will find many tools in this book. The introduction includes a few “breaks” that will help you to grow, release, and unwind. I would suggest that you try some if not all of them. Take the time to get acquainted with each one. The investment of your time is all it is going to take toward achieving a Sexy Brilliant life.
You may believe that you do not have that much time. Of course, it sounds like a lot! But consider this: while you may be busy, time does not really exist in the spiritual world. Neither do excuses. You do not grow unless you commit to the process. So, as of this moment, you must make yourself your number one priority.
Be stronger than your excuses. Be determined to be Sexy Brilliant.
What Is Sexy?
Sexiness is defined by how a person lives and the energy they project. You are a divine spiritual being, and you are meant to live a life full of fun, laughter, and happiness. You become sexy through the expression of your feelings.
Many people say that sex appeal is about appearance. Usually what one first notices about others is their physical traits, but sexiness is a feeling that starts from the inside.
Being sexy also includes how you treat and support others. Sexy Brilliant people are always interested in other people. They are always working to empower others. They always help others achieve their dreams and goals without any expectations, while simultaneously focusing on themselves and their own personal growth.
It is correct to assume that sexy people give without hoping for or expecting anything in return. My favourite poet, William Wordsworth said, “The best part of a good man’s life is his little nameless unremembered acts of kindness and love.” You should release your expectations of others because you do not need them! You must know and have faith that when you need help, it will be there. Sexy people attract others like them, who are equally successful, equally important, and equally sexy. Although you never attach a price tag to the love you give, you should always remember the people who helped you on your journey. Give thanks to them for the lessons that they taught you.
Everyone that you allow into your life can teach you something new. You should remember to practice constant gratitude and to keep your heart and mind open for unique and alternative ways that you can help empower others and make a difference in the world. The flow of love, compassion, success, and care between people is the deepest, sexiest connection imaginable.
What Is the Sexy Divine?
Sexy, divine people are those who are open. I mean really, truly open. When you tap into your sexy divine self, you begin the process of getting to know, accept, and love yourself and others at all levels. Sexy Divine includes the mind, body, soul, and spirit. In the sexy divine, we celebrate our so-called “imperfections.” You are in tune with your sexiness, and you focus on personal growth, self-awareness, and self-regulation. Although others may not value them, these qualities are immensely powerful to us.
A few words about “imperfections,” which I prefer to call “perfections.” If someone tells you that you are imperfect, it creates an inadequacy or doubt in your mind. When you think positively, you change your focus. Acknowledging your “imperfections” as blessings changes your perspective so you can experience life based on your own truth and sexy divinity.
If you remove the idea of “imperfections” from your heart and mind, you will be drawn more towards Sexy Brilliance. Nothing stops you from being naturally in touch with your divine, spiritual, inner wisdom. All you need to do is to start embracing the idea that you are sexy just the way you are! In my experience I can assure you that the only thing stopping you from being empowered is yourself, and you can change that, any time you want.
You do not love others simply because they are “perfect.” You love them just the way they are in their wholeness. Are you able to do the same for yourself ? Let us love ourselves with the same intensity. If you are struggling with self-acceptance, here is your mantra to repeat: I am perfect as I am! The more you say it to yourself the more you will find yourself believing in it.
You are perfect as you are. The minute you start accepting yourself and stop thinking of yourself as inadequate, you become irresistible to the world. Self-acceptance is the key to celebrating the sexiness that resides inside all of us.
Why Is Solitude Important?
Part of being sexy is learning and loving how to be alone. Solitude is an important aspect of self-appreciation. I did not realize that until I was able to experience it for myself.
Usually, I get constant validation and attention from the multitude of followers on social media. Anytime I search for love, I can tap into a livestream, anywhere in the world via Instagram, or LinkedIn. However, one Friday night, I had just come home from a week in Hollywood where I had been taping a reality TV show, and my energy was higher than usual. Sounds glamourous, right?
It was, but I had no one to be with. I came face to face with loneliness. There I was—divine, sexy Devina—alone on a Friday night. I had finished all my work, talked to my parents on the phone, did yoga, played with fur babies, masturbated, and meditated. I used all my tools for self-appreciation and self-soothing. Yet, I was still feeling unsatisfied and restless. I craved a human connection.
Sure, it would be easy to choose to have sex with someone, but I understood that it would not lessen those feelings of loneliness. Sometimes, being by myself is better than choosing to spend time with just anyone. In the end, I spent time releasing my pain through journaling and writing about my sadness.
Acceptance of every emotion is empowering. I treated myself just as I would have treated a friend going through a rough moment. I gave myself kindness and support. I gave myself love when I was lonely. I invite you to befriend yourself in the same way. Coming face to face with undesired emotions is uncomfortable. Unless these emotions are acknowledged and accepted, they are guaranteed to resurface at inconvenient times. I have found that most growth and subsequent transformation happens in our darkest times. The journey towards a sexier version of yourself means staying in tune with all of your emotions. Time alone helps you identify who you are, without the distraction of other people.
What Is Conditioning?
Conditioning is the collected beliefs from your past, your history, and your ancestors who may have left their energies behind. It is important to let that go. In order to stay in a constant state of zero, you must release what does not belong to you. It takes a lot of mindfulness, soul work, and self-searching to discern how our conditioning affects us. There is not one set formula for this work; however, I created the exclusive K.A.U.R.™ process to help you on your journey. (You will discover more about the trademarked K.A.U.R.™ process as we move further on in the next chapters of this book.)
Often, people are not aware that their behaviour is a reflection of the way they were raised. When I catch myself getting upset at my daughter, I pause and contemplate my actions. I realize that it is not me who is angry or upset at her, it is the way that I was raised. My parents have successfully passed on so much of their baggage to me that I occasionally do to my daughter what they did to me.
In my case, for the longest time I was not aware that I was behaving in a certain way. I remember one time that I fat-shamed my own daughter using the same language my parents used on me. My daughter, Anahat, was eating candy after candy. I could not control the words that came out of my mouth. I told her, “Stop eating so much, you are getting fat.”
To this day I am still upset at myself—how could I say such words to her? I was expressing the exact demeaning tone of voice and feelings of invalidation I grew up with. These words were a product of the way I was raised. They were my conditioning. I was not living my life in them, but my parents’ lives. It was not mine, but their mindset that I was passing on to my child.
I allowed myself to become aware of my conditioning, so I could change my behaviour. I was able to let go of my past baggage, my childhood blueprint, and my conditioning to empower myself. When I did this, even once, it opened up new possibilities. I could share my stories, vulnerabilities, and addictions. As we continue on, I will talk further about my relationship with my parents and what has allowed me to forgive them.
Activity: Chapter Zero
Think back to your past, every day you have experienced up until today. What story keeps showing up that has not served you? What do you need to release to be at zero?
Negative energy can be transformed to work for you! Where has most of your negative energy stemmed from? Select all that apply
It’s time to be the author of your life! Are you ready? Be bold, be honest, and ambitious—no holding back!
What would make you feel completely fulfilled? What does your Sexy Brilliant future look like? The more clearly you